i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
