how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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