butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
