This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My balls are so social today.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my poor anus
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
