whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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