i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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