She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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