Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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