I could have mohawked her pubes.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
