wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
