people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
