I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
