just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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