return my video game
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
