My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
God, I missed his penis.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
