Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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