he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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