my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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