Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
