Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
