Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this must be what syphilis tastes like
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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