How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he thought i was a dude.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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