You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
