You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
