Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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