so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
