Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I forget how to act sober
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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