dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
