Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
