I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
