giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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