Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
