See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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