I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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