Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
