sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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