oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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