Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
