if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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