lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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