so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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