I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
