Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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