Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.

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(540): I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy. http://tfl.nu/o69i

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(214): View more from Texas

so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina

(214): View more from Texas

i got awkward and finally asked him what he said

(214): View more from Texas

he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it

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(214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina (214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it http://tfl.nu/s46y

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(719): View more from Colorado

Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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(719): Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.." http://tfl.nu/gg20

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!

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(402): The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE! http://tfl.nu/1ymk

Replies (63) Good night (1033) Bad night (7749)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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(215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'. (215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/6wc5

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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(412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.

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(262): Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears. http://tfl.nu/gqzu

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(512): View more from Texas

Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.

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(512): Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge. http://tfl.nu/qm3g

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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(832): He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex. http://tfl.nu/fne7

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(205): View more from Alabama

And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.

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(205): And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk. http://tfl.nu/k7i0

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(925): View more from California

i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.

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(925): i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/zp0f

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(512): View more from Texas

I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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(512): I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low. http://tfl.nu/zwn3

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.

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(604): Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over. http://tfl.nu/sa4q

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(440): View more from Ohio

Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper

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(440): Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper http://tfl.nu/949l

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(716): View more from New York

Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth

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(716): Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth http://tfl.nu/he9m

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