You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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