ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I checked into jail on foursquare
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
