Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
