either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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