very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
