Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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