No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
