Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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