I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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