what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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