He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
