I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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