Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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