he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
