i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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