i barfeds in our rink
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
